Dharma Beatdown

Chillin' by the Hell-realm water cooler.

I have joined a choir

Well, as much as it seems like it could be the lead in to the standard blog-type almost-joke, it’s not.

Last night, with good buddy Tim in tow, I answered a craigslist ad for the Pacific Pops Choir, which claimed to be ‘Your Friendly Neighborhood Heavy Metal Choir’ which was desperately in need of tenors. Were we tenors? Who the fuck knows?

When we got to the church rec room that housed the initial meeting of the choir, we discovered that this group was primarily made up of… yes, you guessed it. OLD WOMEN. Nothing against old women, it’s just that there was suddenly some cognitive dissonance happening. Most of the people there were veterans of this choir and its various showtune/family/movie theme iterations, so apparently the heavy metal theme this time just didn’t matter to them.

Once the chairs were all arranged, we were dropped right in to the tenor section, which consisted of two tenor women and… us. To make matters worse, the two tenor women were not singing very loud, or at all, that I could hear, so when it came to rehearsing tenor parts, it was just me and Tim, who neither read music or have any choir experience.

Surprisingly, I think we pulled it off. The director of the choir, who is a very cool guy, said we did awesome, though it may be he is just desperate for tenors. Perhaps there is something to it, though. Tim is an amazing singer. Really great, and anyone who has heard him at karaoke or our performances at open mic will readily attest to his pipes. I’m not so hot as a singer, but don’t give so much of a shit, so I was hitting high tenor F-sharp in a falsetto and just letting it resonate down in my nutsack, so I guess it worked.

The choir rehearsed “Born To Be Wild”, “Boulevard Of Broken Dreams”, and “Black Hole Sun” for starters. Yes, looks more like a B-theme. Apparently solos are available- one of the girls our age is doing “American Idiot.” Tim and I joked about doing a duet of “Angel Of Death”, but in all reality I’m pretty sure we’re going to tackle one of the lesser-known Doors tunes. This crazy thing looks like it might just be hilarious and fun. We can look back on it and say, “Hey, remember that year we sang ‘In-a-god-a-da-vida’ with those old ladies?”

And I suppose I can add it to the list of all the wonderful crazy dreams I’ve been living lately. Let me just state that I remain mindful and grateful of my opportunities. RAWK!!!


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